


glad to be of service

by karcathy



Series: somebody oughta lay you out [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Hook-Up, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, blowjobs for burritos, equivalent exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karcathy/pseuds/karcathy
Summary: Dan's bored enough to be on Grindr, which is always a bad sign. It gives him an opportunity to put his mouth to good use, at least.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: somebody oughta lay you out [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617373
Comments: 24
Kudos: 70





	glad to be of service

Dan was bored. That was his only excuse, really. He’d never admit to using Grindr for any other reason. Honestly, he was still in denial about installing the app, but that didn’t stop him from scrolling through it anyway. He wasn’t feeling particularly horny, just bored - and a little hungry, since he didn’t have anything in and didn’t feel like going to the shops. He was just scrolling idly through the app, wondering how many of the pics were lifted directly from the first Google image results page for _shirtless guy_ , when he got a message. He checked the guy’s pictures first. These ones looked real: they were mostly awkwardly posed mirror selfies, but the guy was cute, his dark hair swept back and one hand casually lifting his shirt to reveal lightly toned abs. Not especially impressive, but not Photoshopped, either.

 _Hey your cute_ , the message read. It was followed by another, seconds later, that just contained a winking emoticon. 

_Haha thanks_ , Dan replied, wincing at his own awkwardness. According to the app, this guy - philmeup - was close by, too. About three hundred metres away. 

_So whats up?_ This guy apparently hadn’t been driven off yet. The fact that he’d messaged in the first place didn’t exactly bode well for his taste, though, since Dan’s picture was an unflattering selfie he’d snapped shortly after downloading the app. 

_Not much just hungry lol_ , Dan replied. Then, before he could think about it too much: _I’d suck a dick for a burrito rn._

 _That can be arranged_ , came the almost instantaneous reply, followed by another winky face. 

Dan hesitated for a moment, then quickly tapped out his address. _Send burrito pics and i’ll buzz u up_. 

The chat went quiet, and Dan assumed he’d taken the joke too far. With a sigh, he returned to scrolling through profiles, waiting patiently for someone else to message him first so he could respond with another distasteful joke. He’d almost forgotten the burrito-blowjob guy when he got another message from him. This one was just an image, and Dan let out a small surprised laugh when he saw it was a picture of a foil-wrapped burrito, with what looked like the front door to his building in the background. Dan hesitated, but this was already too far gone for him to leave this guy out in the cold, so he crossed over to the intercom and buzzed him in. Shortly afterwards, there was a knock at his door. Dan glanced down at his outfit: stained sweats and an old t-shirt, but it was too late for him to change now. He ran a hand through his hair, crossing nervously over to the door.

“Hey,” he said, leaning against the door frame. He was even cuter in person, his cheeks reddened from the cold night air and his dark hair windswept. Dan’s eyes dropped instinctively to his lips, red and slightly damp, and he felt the bottom fall out of his stomach. “Is that a burrito or are you just happy to see me?”

The guy laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all day. His laugh made Dan want to hear it again and again, a pure expression of simple joy. “It is, actually,” he said, pulling a foil-wrapped burrito out of the paper bag he was holding. “I’m Phil, by the way.” 

“I’m Dan.” He stepped back, pulling the door open wide enough for Phil to enter. 

“Nice to meet you,” Phil said, his eyes running over Dan’s body then returning to his face with a smile. 

Dan just nodded, indicating the way through to the living room. This certainly wasn’t the first time he’d invited a complete stranger into his flat, but it was probably the strangest circumstances he’d done it under. 

“Do you want chicken or beef?” Phil asked, settling down on Dan’s sofa. 

“What?” Dan asked, sitting next to him. 

“The burrito,” Phil said, patiently. “Chicken or beef? I don’t know which you prefer. God, I hope you’re not veggie. You’re not, right?”

“Oh, right,” Dan interrupted, cutting over his rambling. “Uh, chicken?” He said it more like a question, but Phil smiled, handing him a burrito, then pulled a second one out of the bag. For some reason, that made Dan smile. 

“You got two burritos?” he asked, looking up at Phil. 

“Yeah,” he said, with an awkward smile. “I didn’t know what you wanted. ‘Sides, I’m hungry too.”

Dan laughed again, unwrapping the burrito. He really wasn’t sure of the etiquette in a situation like this, but he was hungry, and the burrito was there, so he might as well eat it. Phil had already eating, seemingly unaware of Dan’s eyes on him. Dan watched for a moment, then dragged his gaze away, unwrapping his own burrito. His eyes darted back to Phil, checking whether he was watching, but he was oblivious. With a small smirk, Dan opened his mouth wide, wrapping his lips around the burrito. He let out a soft moan that was only partially put-on - it was a pretty good burrito. He glanced over at Phil, who had paused with his burrito halfway to his mouth, his jaw slack as he stared at Dan. Closing his eyes, Dan slid the burrito further into his mouth, letting out another moan. Slowly, Dan ate the whole thing like that, making a show of it for Phil, who seemed to have forgotten his own in favour of watching Dan. 

“Oh, that was good,” Dan said, his voice soft and throaty. He licked his fingers, exaggerating it slightly. “I guess I owe you.” He smirked at Phil, who was looking distinctly flushed. 

“Right,” Phil said, his voice slightly hoarse. He cleared his throat, glancing away and then back at Dan. “You don’t have to.”

“I’d like to,” Dan said, shifting closer to him. He rested one hand on Phil’s knee. 

“Okay,” Phil said, relaxing back into the sofa. “What do you want to do?”

“Tell me what you want,” Dan said, slipping onto his knees in front of him. 

“I want your mouth,” Phil said, his eyes on Dan’s lips. 

“Yeah?” Dan said, his voice encouraging, his hands sliding up Phil’s thighs. He looked up at Phil, his fingers toying with his belt buckle. 

“God, you’re such a tease,” Phil said, shuffling forward slightly. Dan’s fingers hooked through his belt, slowly unbuckling it. 

“Go on,” he said, his gaze still turned upwards as his fingers moved to the button fly of Phil’s jeans. 

“Yeah,” Phil said, his shoulders leaning back against the back of the sofa and his hips lifting slightly. “I don’t know, I wasn’t sure at first, thought you might be joking.” His breath hitched a little as Dan unbuttoned his jeans, his fingers lightly brushing the soft cotton of his boxers. “But then, God, you made such a show of it.”

“Yeah?” Dan said, dragging Phil’s jeans down by the waistband. They caught against Phil’s ass, and he tilted his hips up helpfully. 

“Not sure I’ve met anyone so eager to have his face fucked,” Phil said. Dan’s fingers were resting against his hips, his lips slightly parted as he contemplated the shape of his dick under his boxers. He couldn’t be fully hard yet - Dan had barely touched him - but he could already tell this was going to be a challenge. “But you’re taking your time, aren’t you?”

Dan glanced up at him, smirking, then pressed his mouth to the thin fabric. His tongue pressed against the head of Phil’s cock, and he was rewarded with a soft moan. 

“You like making me wait, don’t you?” 

Dan wanted to take up the conversation, but he was enjoying Phil’s rambling, and for once, he had better things to be doing with his mouth. He pulled back slightly, bringing his hands up to gently tug his boxers down. He took a moment to admire Phil’s dick; it was as big as he’d guessed, and almost elegant in its proportions. 

“Having second thoughts?” Phil asked, a teasing lilt to his voice. 

Dan just shot him a glare, before wrapping his lips around the head of his cock and sliding as far down the shaft as he could in one practised move. Phil let out a soft gasp, clearly surprised, as Dan managed to take a good two thirds of his length into his throat. It had been a little while since he’d done this, but it still felt familiar, and satisfying in a way he’d almost forgotten how much he enjoyed. Pulling back, he suckled the head for a moment, swirling his tongue it and eliciting a soft moan from Phil. He let his lips release with a soft _pop_ , tilting his head back to look up at Phil. His head was resting against the sofa, his hands gently gripping the seat. 

“Oh, don’t stop,” he said, lifting his head to look down at Dan, a needy expression on his face. 

“Tell me what you want,” Dan said, his voice slightly rough. 

“I want this,” he said. Dan looked up at him for a long moment, before pressing his lips to the tip of his dick, one hand moving to stroke his balls. “Your mouth was made for this, wasn’t it? You’re so good at it.” The praise zinged straight to Dan’s stomach, and he slid his mouth back onto Phil’s dick, angling it so it slipped more easily into his throat now. “God, yeah, it’s so good,” Phil said, as Dan began to build up a rhythm, sliding back and forth, his hand toying lightly with his balls. “You love this, don’t you?” His hips were starting to tremor slightly now, clearly resisting the urge to thrust into Dan’s throat. “Love having a dick in your mouth.” His breathing was coming faster, his words becoming more nonsensical as he got closer to orgasm. “Yeah, you want it, you like it.” He kept on repeating himself, and Dan pulled back slightly, pressing his tongue into the underside of his cock as it started to spasm, shooting bitter semen into the back of his throat. He pulled a face as he swallowed; it wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed, but he didn’t want to ruin his couch, and he was too lazy to go to the bathroom. 

“God,” Phil said, his voice soft. He had flopped back into the sofa, his eyes drifting shut. “God, you’re so good.”

“Yeah,” Dan said, his smile a little smug. He let himself collapse against the sofa, his head resting on the seat, as he looked up at Phil through half-open eyes. “Thanks for the burrito.”

“Oh,” Phil said, “Right. Yeah. Glad to be of service, I guess.”

Dan laughed, soft and breathy. That was one way to say it.

**Author's Note:**

> can't and won't stop writing about dan putting things in his huge mouth. dan shut up challenge!!!
> 
> send me more suggestions for things to put in his mouth


End file.
